The waiting is the hardest part or why I’m still nauseous

Tomorrow I’m going to a baby shower. The adorable invitation and the purchase of the baby gifts including a spiffy everything old is new again muslin baby blanket, brought back a rush of memories about how it felt to be pregnant with my first child.

My debut baby so to speak.

Despite all of the advice books and all of the wisdom imparted by friends and family, nothing quite prepares you for the reality of pregnancy and childbirth. And that is as it should be. Each woman’s experience is unique, also as it should be.

But one thing most first time mothers have in common is just wanting the wait to be over. Just wanting to see that baby, hold that baby, care for her and watch her grow. And just wanting the nausea to be over. (Mine was intermittent throughout the nine months all the way into the hospital.)

I had experienced that wait and nausea before. When I was a fledgling lawyer in my first job after passing the bar (insurance litigation, my other life, don’t ask) I had that wait the first time I went to court anticipating when the clerk would call my client’s case. I would have to speak persuasively before the judge in a full courtroom and I hoped, Β all without vomiting. It was a close call. Later, I asked one of the experienced litigators in our firm when that nauseous feeling would go away. He said, “it never really goes away entirely.” And you kind of don’t want it to. Because part of that sick feeling is the wait for your case to be called and part of that feeling is the hope that all of the work and planning you’ve done will lead to a successful result.

So here I am again. My debut novel will be released soon. I can’t wait. And yes I’ve got that feeling in my stomach.


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